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[gnimaerd]

I had my frist English tutorial yesterday andBiblical Studies tutorial today. Both of the tutors are Americans (which I suppose isn't surprising given the numbers of international students who come to Edinburgh to do their post graduate degree). I wasn't as intimidated as I thought I would be in the English one. It was a lot like Advanced Higher English. I was WAY more intimidated by the people in Biblical Studies, mostly because, unsurprisingly, there are a lot of Christians in the group.

This in itself wouldn't be intimidating (some of my closest friends are Christians) but that it makes me uncomfortable when there are people who are calling themselves Christian when I don't know them very well. I don't know exactly what their beliefs are - and as much as some of my closest friends at school were Christian, almost every homophobe I encountered there was also the particularly heinous type who used God as an excuse to justify their ignorance. I feel vulnerable in a context where 'Christian' could, very easily, mean 'homophobic bigot'. It makes me nervous about outing myself. It makes me nervous about engaging with them in any kind of theological debate (which, lets face it, is going to happen at SOME point - we may be in this for the academia but theology is going to come in at some point - we're studying the bible for pete's sake...) Hopefully the fact that they are actually interested in studying the Bible in an academic way is a suggestion that they are open minded and looking to find out more about the text that is their religious authority. Hopefully.

But there's one guy in the group who set my gay-dar through a loop so I'm fairly sure I'm not the only wavy person there, at least.

There was also a guy from my old school. 0.o Fortunately, this is his second degree, so he left school a good four years ago and I don't know him. I was wearing my school hoodie (only clean one I had this morning) which is how he recognised me.

(Merlin day tomorrow! ^_^)

Comments

[world-of-tights.livejournal.com]

I would like to do biblical studies, it sounds like fun - and having knowledge of bible stories helps you more than almost anything in else in studying eng lit. That, and mythology.

There will be some there who see it as an extended version of Sunday school, but mostly it should be pretty good. And if nothing else, the tutor is there to mediate :)

ALSO: YAY MERLIN :D :D :D

[gnimaerd.livejournal.com]

YAY MERLIN! ^_^

(also - LOL at wheelbarrowman icon) XP

[funkyinfishnet.livejournal.com]

*hugs* not all us Christians are homophobic bigots, I promise! You choose the right time and the right people to tell about your waviness. Don't forget we love you tons :) xoxox

[gnimaerd.livejournal.com]

I know not all of them are. I know not even the majority are. But some are. And that's the possibility that makes me nervous. *hugs*

[vermontypython.livejournal.com]

*coughhack* Come see the American south, we've got Christian homophobic bigots by the truckload! *cough*

(The "we" in that didn't imply my involvement, btw, I'm from the northwest. XD)

I'm sure it won't be a problem, it's just like you said- if they're in a class to intelligently discuss the Bible, they probably aren't anything to worry about. I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

STILL it's absolutely ridiculous that in this day and age people still have to worry about this.

[gnimaerd.livejournal.com]

It's part of what pisses me off. I shouldn't have to think about stuff like this - it shouldn't MATTER. But it DOES, and that's INSANE.

[ohhellsyeah.livejournal.com]

It is unfortunate that being a Christian has come to be equated with being a homophobic, bigoted, right wing nut job. But it's even more unfortunate that you feel uncomfortable and the need to hide who you are.

This is university and it's quite possible that they are more open minded than you think. I can't think of a single person at my university who would have cared if someone was gay (or not). Followers of any major religion often study religious texts (including those of other faiths) because they want their views to be challenged. You may not agree, but they will probably at least be interested in what you have to say.

[gnimaerd.livejournal.com]

I don't equate being a Chritain with being homophobic (like I said, some of my closest friends are Christian, and the most open minded, accepting people I know). And I am hoping that they WILL be open minded.

But the fact is that I don't have the privilige of being able to give people the benefit of the doubt. If I want to protect myself from being, at best, judged, and at worst harassed and discriminated against, I have to assume the worst of people until proven otherwise. That doesn't mean I'm going to go in there and start accusing people of being homophobes because they're Christians. It just means I'm just not going to say anything that could indicate that I'm wavy until I have a firm read on how they are going to react. It might seem harsh, unreasonable or unfair, but if you ask anyone who's GLBT, they'll likely tell you the same thing. That's just the world I live in - that's the world we ALL live in, but until we lose our majority-privilige and become part of a minority group (whether that be racial, sexual, religious or any other) we don't see it.

I'm pretty damn certain there will be people at my university who care about whether or not I'm gay, whether or not they're in my Biblical Studies tutorial (or on the course at all). I'm pretty certain that, just as there will be people looking to be challenged, there will be people who are simply looking to find further confirmation, justification and reinforcement of their own prejudices and will refuse to accept/respect any point of veiw but their own. I'm pretty certain there will be people at YOUR university who would have cared if someone was gay - whatever grey shade of homophobia they embraced. It's an ingrained thing. In a population as big as a university, you are GOING to get a decent proportion of people with at least partially homophobic views, whether they want us all burned at the stake, or whether they just use the word 'gay' as an insult.

Like I said - it's sad. But it's the world we live in.

[abserdman.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel better I'm a Christian and I'm as wavy as you are!

*hugs*